my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
