I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize