My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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