ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Randomize