You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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