I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
