At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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