no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize