what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
