guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We got so high we made milksteak
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
