You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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