Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
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They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
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i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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