my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
