i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
