i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
