Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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