so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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