Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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