The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
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I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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