i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
