Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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