Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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