Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
