If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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