I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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