well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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