My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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