Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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