there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she pinky promised me she was 18
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.