i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.