I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick