So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
