so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
