Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
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Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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