I cockslap morals
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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