I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
