So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
