I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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