I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
