Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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