Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
