I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
