i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
