Im at strip club and am horny
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
