I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize