Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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