he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize