Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
