Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
