why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
