I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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