So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
