evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You ruined the universe
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
