dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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