We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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