I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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