Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
