He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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