eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
