somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
