new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
