we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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